You can also change the title to “how to be a jerk”. Your choice.
Ahoy mates! Let us now list down 5 ways to be COOL! Oyes, you heard it right, oh wait, not heard, that one must be see or saw, or have seen, whatever. So you ready? Lezgo.
5) DRINK A LOT. — of water? NO! Drink a lot of BEERS, VODKA or other alcoholic drinks! Oh my, that’ll help you a lot. Drink all night and then look crazy after that! Jump into pools, break some glasses and punch some faces. Trust me, that’ll make you the best. The best of all dude, the coolest. You’ll see those “COOL” individuals around, you’ll see how drinking changed their lives! I’m not gonna mention all the killings and accidents but yeah, they’re just so cool. Don’t you think? Now go grab a drink. Oh-oh, moderately? Just be cool.
4) DON’T STUDY! — Yes mates, if you study, those jerks would just call you nerdy or whatever. Many people think that studying hard is for losers! IF YOU WANT TO BE COOL, DESTROY YOUR LIFE?! Oh mind freaking whats the matter with us. Anyway, they don’t find nerds as cool as those drug addicts. So better go get your own style. Besides, you want to look cool right? (Well unless you’re a good-looking nerd, people will still appreciate you.)
3) PLAY WITH GIRLS/BOYS! - If you’re a girl, then play with boys. If you’re a boy, the play with girls. Flirt all day and be COOL! You’ll look really cool if you’ll destroy their hearts and play with them for just a while. Date 50 girls in one month and be the cool guy they’re looking for! BE A JERK! Trust me, you’ll get as many girls as you want. But don’t wish to be married soon, oyeah COOL! Besides, people who truly loves someone always get rejected so whatever.
2) BREAK ALL THE RULES - Ah yes, we’re getting really closer to the number one tip. But first, I mean second, or fourth, let us use this one! Destroy all things in your sight! Act like a total jerk and be COOL! If they say that you must not smoke, THEN SMOKE! If they say that don’t pick flowers, PICK FLOWERS! THEN SWALLOW IT WHOLE YOU, YOU COOL WITH THAT? Then after that take some illegal DRUGS AND GET CAUGHT BY THE POLICE! Being behind the jail is cool right? Especially when you’re a rich kid taking drugs. JUST don’t FOLLOW RULES! - after that, just destroy your life.
1) DON’T FOLLOW RULES 5 - 2. - Now here’s the real deal. You might think that I’m a total freak to ever post something like this huh? I just wanted you to perhaps think what does being a cool guy/girl really mean. If you’ll drink, don’t drink like there’s no tomorrow. Learn to drink moderately. Don’t drink like you don’t know what will happen next. If you’re a girl, be careful because you don’t want to be raped by those men who’re just waiting for that opportunity. Trust me, I know some cases like that. Then, study, and study harder than usual. You don’t want to ruin your future right? Don’t ever think studying is just for academics, you must also study life and how it goes. Think of all the situations and learn from it. Your future is in your hands. Oh this, don’t play with someone’s heart. Learn to respect people and the way they are. Take relationships seriously, if you also want to be taken seriously. Love with all of your heart and be the man who is righteous for the love of a woman. Follow rules, that’ll help a lot. But don’t follow them all, well I’m not trying to be rude here. I mean learn to have a stand and create your own rules. Sometimes some rules just don’t fit you, learn to be good and show them how your rules work.
What I’m trying to send here is, we must be responsible for our works. It’s not just you who’s being affected by your doings. Learn to respect other people. Most of all, put God above everything else. No further explanations, just be the person you are. Don’t try hard, you’re cool enough.
Now go out and show them who’s cool. Oyeah.
Originally posted on my Wordpress: http://theboguspundit.wordpress.com/2011/12/28/ways-to-be-cool/